Sayenzi YeParent Child's Day Night Nheyo
Kurera vana ... ndeye dambudziko here kana comedy? Rimwe zuva unonzwa sokuti supermom uye inotevera iwe uri kuchema kune kate yako nokuti haudi kuchinja imwezve poop diaper. Sezvo isu tose tinoziva, kuvabereki zvakaoma! Kuberekera kunounza mibvunzo yakaoma yakawanda yakadai seyi:
Sei mavoki akaputsika "aparadzwa?"
Sei zvakakosha kuti muvara wei sippy mukombe chii?
Sei usingagoni kuisa uswa mujeri bhokisi pasina mwana wako achinyauka?
Sei chicheche chichatsva-chichinyoro-chichiririra pamusoro pechido, zvino chirasikirwa nezvose zvinodiwa mutambo iyo kana yava nayo?
Ndeipi iyo ine foni yangu?
Usatarira mberi! Kune bhuku idzva richagadzirisa zvose izvi zvakavanzika. Ungana nenyengeri-masayendisiti Norine Dworkin-McDanial naJessica Zeigler, amai vano-mashure mushure meScience of Parenthood: Kunyatsosatsananguriki Scientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations. Kubvira pakasunungurwa, Science of Parenthood yave ichibhururuka kubva pamashalofu! Iko ikozvino pane Amazon's Hot New Releases list. Vabereki vanogona kutaurirana nebhuku rakazadza pfungwa dzechokwadi, dzechokwadi pakurera vana. Iwe unogona kuwana Sayenzi yeParenthood kuAmazon, Barnes neNoble, Booksamillion, uye chero mabhuku atengeswa! Sayenzi yeMubereki inowanikwawo kune Nook kana Kindle e-readers!
Heino tambiso yebhuku racho, pane imwe nyaya iri pedyo nemwoyo wangu - kutaurira mubatsiri wako uye kuratidza zvakanyanya kukanganisa kweukama hunoenderana nekuchengeta vana.
Mumavhiki ekutanga mushure mekunge mwana wedu aberekwa, ndakatya kwazvo zvokuti aizomira kufema, ndaizomumutsa kuti ndione. (Zvadaro, zvirokwazvo, ndaifanira kutarisana nekuchema.)
Asi icho chaicho chakafuridzira chikafu ichi chaiva kumwe kutya kwangu-kuti nanny yedu yaizotora mwana. Mukuonazve, ndingadai ndaive tad neurotic. Sezvakaita kuti musikana akanaka, musikana ane twentysomething aida mwedzi mina. Ndiri kureva, ndiani asingadi kuramba akasimuka usiku hwose achipfira mate-akafukidzirwa mafungiro ekudyisa uye kuchinja kwechirapa, kurudyi? Fara nguva! (Kusina kurara kunonyatsoita zvinhu zvinoshamisa kuuropi hwako kana iwe unowanzova neuchenjeri hweupenzi.)
Zvechokwadi, ndakanga ndabvunzurudza nanny uye ndakatarisa zvinyorwa zvayo uye yaiita semukadzi akanaka kwazvo akanaka uye ane ruzivo rwakawanda rwekubata vana. Ndakanga ndakanyatsonaka ndichiva naye mumba mangu. Ini ndakanga ndisiri kunyatsosununguka kumurega kuti aende kunze kwangu. Akanga ave neni kwevhiki shomanana apo akabvunza kana aigona kutora mwana wacho kufamba. Panguva iyoyo, taigara munharaunda yakanyarara, yakavakwa pachitsikidzi chemaira. Sezvo iye akasiya mumba mangu nemucheche ari muchitsika, ndakamira pahwindo ndikamucherechedza kusvikira ndisingakwanisi kumuona zvakare. Uyezve, kunyange zvazvo ndakanga ndamupa chikwereti kuitira kuti ndigone kushanda murugare mubhuku randakanga ndichangopedza chibvumirano chokunyora, ndakamira pahwindo pane nzvimbo, ndichiverenga maminitsi kusvikira adzoka pakuona.
Mavhiki mashomanana gare gare, my paranoia yangu yakashandura ichienda kune yepamusoro. Ndaifanira kuita bhizimisi rekuenda kuLas Vegas kwataimbogara tisati tadzokera kuOrlando. Ndinenge ndange ndapedza maawa makumi matatu nemaviri, uye chirongwa chacho chaiva chekuti nanny indire pasi pangu kudivi rekudenga, kutarisira mwana kusvikira murume wangu Stewart achidzoka kumba achibva kubasa ndokubva atorazve kwandiri zuva raitevera.
Asi pandakapinda mumotokari yake kuti ndiende kunhandare yendege, ndakaona iye aine chikwama-chiyero chechikwata chemukomana wangu akaenderera mberi phiri yake. Ndakarangarira iye achikumbira mufananidzo. Asi kuzviona mumotokari yake kwakandivhiringidza. Sezvataifamba tichienda kunhandare yemhepo, ndakamuita vimbiso yokuti aizondipa zvinyorwa zvese maawa pandainge ndaenda. Pandakangopedza kuchengeteka, ndakadana hanzvadzi yangu Shari.
"Hazvina maturo here kuti nanny ane mufananidzo wemucheche, akafanana nemotokari yake? Zvakashamisa, handizvo here? "Panguva iyo ndaive ndisina hyperventilating. Kusakwanisa kurara, kuchinja mahomoni, kuwedzera caffeine uye kumwe kutya kwakasvibiswa kwekusiya mwana wangu kwaiva kundiita tad bonkers. "Ndinofunga kuti anogona kubvuta mwana. Iwe unofunga kuti zvinoreva kuti achaenda kumucheche mwana? Zvichida ndinofanira kudzokera kumba? Handigoni kuuya kumba. Ndinoenda ku Vegas. Asi zvichida ... "
Ah ... pane chaizvoizvo haisi mapenzi sezvinoitwa amai vatsva mapenzi. Pane imwe mugumo wefoni, hanzvadzi yangu yakagomera ndokubva ichitaura zvishoma nezvishoma, nemwoyo murefu, "Kwete, handifungi kuti achabvuta mwana. Ndinofunga kuva nemufananidzo mumotokari yake yakakura. Zvinoreva kuti anoda mwana. Icho chinhu chakanaka. Iye zvino tora kufema kwakadzika uye zvichida Xanax uye uende kudiki ndege. Tichakuona mangwana. "
Pandakauya kuburikidza neVarrivals terminal zuva rakatevera, ndakanga ndisisunungurwi kuona vana nemwana vachindimirira, sezvatakagadzirira. Ichokwadi kuti akarega zuva raitevera. Mushure mezvose, ndiani anoda kushanda kumukadzi anonyengera?
Neine imwe neimwe yakatevera inosangana nesu, ndakasununguka zvishoma uye ndikawedzera ruvara kusvikira nemana yedu yekupedzisira, pane dzimwe nguva apo ndakanga ndisingazivi kuti mwana wangu aiva ani. Asi ndaiziva kana aive neana nanny, iye ari kuita zvakanaka.
Norine Dworkin-McDaniel munyori wekunyora ane illustrator Jessica Ziegler weScience of Parenthood: Tsanangudzo isinganzwisisiki yeSpanish Zvinyorwa zvakanyatsoitika Bhaffling Parenting Zvinyorwa zvakabudiswa munaNovember nekunyora. Inowanika kuAmazon uye kwose kwose mabhuku anotengeswa. Tevera Norine naJessica pamabhuku avo, Facebook, Twitter uye Instagram. Isayenzi yeMubereki inouya kuguta rako here? Tarisa purogiramu yedu yekushanyira. Unoda Sayenzi Yemubereki kuti uuye kuguta rako here? Tumirai kwatiri!