Pane chimwe chinhu pamusoro pekunda nababa, vakarurama? Hazvinei kuti chii, vasikana vaduku ivavo vanoita kunge vane madzitateguru avo akaputirwa neminwe yavo duku-iyo maziso makuru, iyo duku yenguruve, maoko avo anosvika kuna baba vavo kuti vakumbwe.
Uye kana iwe wakambozvibvunza kana pane musiyano pakati pekuda kwebaba nemwanasikana uye rudo rwebaba nemwanakomana, sayenzi iri kutaura chaizvo kuti kune musiyano muduku.
Chidzidzo chitsva chakaongorora musiyano pakati pemadzitateguru akabatana nevana vavo nevanasikana vavo, nezvimwe zviitiko zvinonakidza.
Chidzidzo
Kudzidza, kwakaitwa paEmory University uye yakabudiswa mumagazini eBehavioral Neuroscience , yakadzidza kusangana pakati pebaba nevana vavo vese varume vaviri kwemazuva maviri. Yakanga yakavakirwa pane zvidzidzo zvekare izvo vabereki vanobata vakadzi nevakadzi vana zvakasiyana uye vakatarisira kuratidza kuti dzidziso yacho chaiye zvechokwadi.
Vatsvakurudzi vakanga vachitarisira kuunganidza mashoko pamusoro pekuti madzibaba akabatana sei nevana vavo, vachitarisa kuti vakataura sei kuvana, mazwi avakashandisa, uye maitiro avo ose. Vose pamwe chete, vasikana makumi matatu nevasikana nevakomana 22 vaduku vakapinda muchidzidzo. Madzibaba evana vaipfeka zvinyorwa zvepamusoro pamabhanhire avo kwemazuva evhiki nevhiki uye zuva revhiki, iro rakashandura zvisiri izvo uye rakanyora hurukuro dzavo uye chero chimwe chinhu, sekuimba kana kutamba basa rinonzwika.
The Findings
Pakupera kwekudzidza, vatsvakurudzi vakaona kuti vanababa vakapedza nguva inenge 60 muzana nguva yakawanda "vachitarisisa" kuvasikana vavo maererano nekuita kwavakaita kuvana vavo. Vakapedzawo nguva inopetwa katanhatu nguva yakawanda inopindirana nenzira dzisina maturo, dzakadai sokuimba uye kurira nevanasikana vavo.
Uye pakupedzisira, madzibaba vakapedza nguva yakawanda vachikurukura pachena pachena manzwiro avo, kusanganisira kusuruvara, nevasikana. Vaive vakanyanya kushandisa mashoko akadai sokuti "kuchema" uye "kusurukirwa," kurondedzera manzwiro avo pachavo uye kuti vasikana vainzwa sei.
Uye zvichida zvikuru kwazvo, vanababa vakashandisawo mamwe mashoko pamusoro pezvitunha zvemwanasikana wavo, kusanganisira "mafuta," "tsoka," "mimba," uye "chiso." Kunyange zvazvo kushamwaridzana kwose kwakanga kusina mhaka, zvechokwadi, vatsvakurudzi vakanga vachiri kufunga kuti chokwadi chiri nyore kuti pamazera akaduku, vasikana vanodzidza kubhadhara zvakanyanya kutarisa kwavo, vanoita basa mukugadzirwa kwemuviri kwenguva refu .
Pamugumo wakatarisana nawo, vanababa vaibatanidza zvakanyanya mumuviri nevanakomana vavo, vachipedza katatu semabasa akawanda kwenguva yakareba sekutamba kutamba. Vaiwanzoshandisawo mutauro wakawanda wairatidza kubudirira, zvakadai semazwi aisanganisira "vanozvikudza," "kukunda," kana "zvakanakisisa."
Zvinotarisirwa kuti, chidzidzo chacho chakawanawo kuti haisi ivobaba chete vanobata vanasikana vavo nenzira yakasiyana, asi kuti nzira iyo uropi hwavo hunoita nevanasikana vavo hwakasiyana chaizvo. Saka nenzira iyo madzibaba akawirwa, kunyangwe nemakore ekugara zvakanaka kwevanhu kana chimwe chinhu, ndiko kubata vanasikana vavo zvakasiyana.
Zvinorehwa NeChidzidzo
Kunyangwe chidzidzo chacho chiri kutarisa kunakidza kwekuti baba vanobatana navo, vanotaura navo, uye vanoita zvakasiyana-siyana pamusoro pevanasikana vavo nevanakomana, hachiri kutitaurira zvachose chikonzero nei. Izvi zvakafanana nehuku kana mazai evha: Vanasikana vanodzidza humwe hutsika kubva nenzira iyo baba vavo vanovabata kana kuti vanababa vanodzibata nenzira yakati nekuda kwekuita kwevanasikana? Uyu mubvunzo wakaoma uyo vatsvakurudzi vanofunga kuti pane zvinhu zvakawanda-vabereki vanozvimiririra, mararamiro evanhu, uye hutsika "mitemo" vose vanoita chikamu.
Semuenzaniso, chokwadi chokuti vanababa vakashandisa mamwe mazwi kutsanangura manzwiro nevanasikana vanogona kuvabatsira kudzidza kukurukura manzwiro avo zviri nani nekuva netsitsi kune vamwe.
Maererano nenyanzvi dzakawanda, vabereki nevakuru vangave vari kupfurikidza nevanhurume vavo pachavo panyaya dzepabonde kune vana vavo kuburikidza nezviito zvavo uye kuti vanobata sei vasina kumbozviziva. Saka kuongorora saizvi kunogona kubatsira vabereki kuvhura maziso avo kuti vangave vari kubata sei vana vavo zvakasiyana-siyana zvichienderana nevarume vavo uye zvakakosha, kuti vanogona sei kuchinja maitiro avo munguva yemberi.
Zvaunogona Kuita
Ongororo dzakapfuura dzakaratidza kuti vabereki havadi kubvuma kuti vanobata vana vavo zvakasiyana, zvinonzwisisika. Asi chidzidzo chinhu chinokosha kutibatsira kuti tione nzira dzakasiyana dzatinogona kubatsira vana vevakomana vose kukura. Kana iwe uri baba vevanakomana, somuenzaniso, ungada kushandisa nguva yakawedzerwa uchitaura nemwanakomana wako nezvekunzwa, uchishandisa mazwi chaiwo kuti ataure manzwiro kana kutaura pamusoro pako.
> Sources:
Mascaro, J. et al. (2017). Kuita zvepabonde kwevana kunobata maitiro ehukama, mutauro, uye huropi. Maitiro Neuroscience, 131 (3), p. 262-273 Kudzoka kubva ku http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bne-bne0000199.pdf