Pane nzvimbo ye "Ndapota" uye "Ndinokutendai" mumashoko enyu okudzidza
Pane chimwe chinhu chakanakisisa here kana kuti chinonakidza kudarika kuuya kune mwana anoremekedza uye anoshandisa mazwi ane mutsa? Mumwe unoti "chinyorwa" uye "ndinokutendai" pasina kutumirwa - zvichida anotokumbira kuti asunungurwe kubva patafura yezvokudya (uye anounza ndiro yake naye paanoenda!). Ndiye mumwe mubereki wose anoda kukukoka pamusoro kuti ave ne playdate kumwana wavo pamwe nemusikana uyo vabereki vako iwe unogara uchipa ku carpool naye.
Unotenda kana kwete, mwana wako wepachikoro anogona kunge ari mwana. Hungu, chaizvoizvo! Kunyange zvazvo zvingaratidzika sekuita basa risingaiti-risingabviri, kudzidzisa tsika uye mazwi ane mutsa kuvana hazvifaniri kuva chinhu chinoodza mwoyo. Nechinguva chiduku, kushivirira nekumwe kushambidzika kwakanaka kwako, iwe uchakurumidza kuva nemwana anenge achikurudzira Miss Manners. Heino nzira:
Mutsa Mashoko evana: Kutanga
Chinokosha pakudzidzisa kutendeseka nemashoko ane mutsa ndeyokutanga zviduku, tanga kutanga uye usagadzikane - mune zvaunoita. Iwe uri mwana wako wekutanga uye wekutanga anokosha muenzaniso. Kana mwana wako ane makore matatu achikunzwa iwe uchiti, "Ndapota tora mbatatisi," kana kuti "Ndinokutendai nokuda kwechipo chinoshamisa!" nguva dzose kune vanhu vakasiyana-siyana-ivo pachavo, shamwari, mhuri uye vatorwa zvakafanana - saka zvinonyanya kuitika kuti iye achazotevera maererano nemoyo wake. (Uye ona kuti izvi ndezvechokwadi pakudzidzisa tsika kune vana uye chero mararamiro ehupenyu waunoda kuti mwana wako atevere.)
Kunyanya kukosha ndechokuti iwe utaure nemwana wako achishandisa tsika dzakanaka. Iwe mwana uri kuenda kuchioni. Uye mwana wako zvakare akakodzera iwe kukuremekedza. Apo iwe uchitaura nemwana wako nekuremekedza uye nomutsa, ivo vachafananidza maitiro ako.
Asi kunyange iwe uchibvumirana kuti uve nemafambiro ako akanaka nguva dzose, panodikanwa kuva nedzimwe dzidziso nekutsanangura zvinosanganiswa - tsika dzisingagoni kudzidziswa zvakasimba ne osmosis.
Tanga kumba uye nekubatana kwezuva nezuva iwe iwe nomwana wako pane zuva rega rega. Pane imwe nguva iyo tsika dzinofanira kushandiswa - tafura yekudya kwemanheru, chero shanduko dzekugarana, kunyange mukuzvidzora nemadhora kana matori - shandisa tsika uye taura kune wako muduku kuti uri kuita saizvozvo. Mukurudzire kuti atevere zvakakodzera.
Rambai Munzira Yemaitiro
Sezvaanononoka nemashoko matsva aya mumutauro wake, unogona kutanga kumukurudzira kuti avashandise mumagariro evanhu. Kunyange wechidiki wechikoro anogona kunzwisisa kuti mushure mekunge mumwe munhu achivapa chimwe chinhu, "thank you" inofanira kunge iri mhinduro yekuzvidzorera kumunhu anopa, ingave vari kugamuchira zuva rekuberekwa riripo pamutambo kana juice bhokisi kubva mufiriji panguva yekudya.
Zvechokwadi iwe unofanira kudzidzisa mwana wako kuti ataure "thank you" mune chero mamiriro ezvinhu kuti zvakakodzera, asi kutanga, kuratidza kuonga chipo kune imwe nzvimbo yakanyanya nyore uye yakasikwa yevanhu. Tsanangurai kumwana wenyu kuti kutaura "kupfuura iwe" inzira yekuudza munhu kuti unoonga uye unoonga pane zvavakaita kana kupa.
Kuti utsanangure shoko racho fadza kumwana wako muduku, taura pamusoro pekuti iiko shoko rinokosha rinoudza vanhu kuti unoda rubatsiro-kana kuita chimwe chinhu kana uchida chimwe chinhu uye nokuchishandisa, vanhu vanowanzokweretesa ruoko.
Kana mwana wako achiita seanonzwisisa uye achigara achishandisa "chinyorwa," uye "ndinokutendai," unogona kutanga ne "iwe unogamuchirwa" uye "ndiregerere."
Chikamu chinokosha chekudzidzisa mwana wako tsika ndeyekudzidzira kurumbidzwa pavanoshandisa shoko rakarurama kana mutsara uye kwete kunyanya kuvatsanangurira kana vasingaiti. Ingotaura chete kuti dzinoda kushandisa izwi rakakodzera uye ramba richienderera mberi. Ramba uchidzidzisa nemuenzaniso. Vachabata pakarepo zvakakwana.
Ichokwadi ndeyekuti, vana vazhinji havazokwanise kushandisa chinangwa mazwi anomutsa nenguva iyo ivo vana. Vanogona kutaura mazwi, asi kwete kunyatsonzwisisa zvinoreva shure kwavo.
Zvakanaka. Chinhu chinokosha ndechokuti iwe watanga. Emily Post yaizofara.